I decided to go to Caleb's house for his birthday instead of taking him out. Caleb needs to be okay with me being at his house and not only seeing me when I take him out. I also feel that the staff that care for him and the boys he lives with are extended family so taking him away from those people, on his birthday, would be unfair to Caleb and to them.
When I got to Caleb's house all the boys and the staff were playing in the front yard. One of his roommates has a large tricycle so they had that out and they were running through the sprinklers. Caleb almost immediately tried to climb in my car to go, but I told him we were staying at his house to celebrate. We headed in the house when it started to get outside because it was going to storm. It's stormed every night this week. Not just rain but thunder that shakes the houses at 2am. Caleb walked back into his house through the garage. I know it seems simple to walk through the garage, but it was one more reminder that Caleb has so many choices at his group home. I love that he knows where everything is and he knows how to get it. I love too that his staff take the time to weed the garden in front of their house so it looks nice. I love that one of his roommates tried to "help" and got all dirty, but they didn't mind they just gave him a bath as he smiled at the mess he made. For dinner, they had gone to get chicken, potatoes, coleslaw and rolls. Caleb loved it, but it was all about the dessert for him. Once he saw that come out, he had no interest in dinner! 
After dinner Caleb ran circles around his house laughing. He got some new toy cars that light up and make sounds. I played with some of them, but threw the toy bus at my head, which in turn resulted us going to play in the living room. We hung out in the living room for a while and we played on the iPad and then he ran off and I couldn't find him until I went in his bedroom and he was hiding under a blanket. He thought he was hilarious. I wanted to go through his closet and see what he needs so I started going through some stuff that was in there and I found some DVDs. There was a DVD case that had trucks on it and I put it in a large zipper DVD case that had other movies in it, handed it to Caleb and told him to take it to his staff "K." He smiled real big and RAN toward the staff to show her. I could not believe it!
We took silly pictures on the iPad. It's Caleb's favorite past time lately.
Overall it was a wonderful time. I am so thankful the staff let me hang out at the house with him, and hopefully I didn't interrupt the schedule too much! They are hoping to go to a museum or maybe the movies this weekend to continue the celebration. As long as the weather is okay I'm going to try to take him to an even at my church on Sunday.
Dear Caleb, you are 15 years old! I wonder if on the day you were born if your family had any idea how much impact you would have on the world. I'm sure they had hopes that you would make a difference, but I'm sure they didn't know just what that would mean for your life. As time went on, they quickly realized you weren't like every baby book says you should be. You've written your own book of development and milestones. You don't fit any mold or follow any time line of learning skills and frankly, I'm glad you don't. Caleb, if you were born without your disability, I would never know you. The staff that have loving nicknames for you, that no matter how hard you pull their hair or throw food at them, love you so much, would not know you. Teachers, doctors, administrators, families, neighbors…. all never would be the people they are, without knowing you.
This 15th year of life you've done so much that has amazed me…
-You walked around a bookstore for a good 20 minutes, didn't throw anything off the shelves and didn't even try to sit down. This was a miracle in my eyes- walking and not throwing something!
-You want to drink from a regular cup instead of a sippy cup, even if it is to try to throw your drink at the staff. Even when we are out, you rather use a cup with a straw or a water bottle to drink from. I love that you have a preference and understand that you have the right to have a say in what you drink from.
-You are saying things clearer. Some things you say are: mama, dada, tra-tar (tractor,) num-num (food/ snack,) I swear I've heard you answer "yahhh" to questions and "no" of course when you don't want to do something. I hear you make the "aaaaa" sound and "kkkkk" but I don't know if these are words you are trying to say.
-You point to what you want and push away what you don't want. Let me tell you, feeding you no longer makes me want to wear a rain jacket because you don't throw things as much.
-You listen to questions I ask you and when I try to explain something to you. I've come to realize that you understand so much more than I give you credit for. I tell you when I am taking you home and when I will see you again and I try to make sure I stick to that promise.
-You are so stubborn! Like when you ask for mama and we call her, but then you don't say a word when she is on the phone!!
-You show an interest in things and try to communicate when you want them. You are currently into Mighty Machines (big surprise!,) dancing (you dance in circles and have many arm movements and belly laugh,) America's Funniest Home Videos (you loved this when you lived at home too) and of course anything that comes from a potato-fried, mashed, tater, etc.
-You need your routine and structure. You are good for short trips when I prepare you, but sometimes you probably would be happier to stay at home. And who can blame you when your staff take such good care of you.
And what I have learned as your student?
-The first thing I've learned, is I still have a lot to learn.
-I need to stop planning and start just living. I need to stop looking forward in life and make sure to see the things I am passing out the side window.
-I have learned that rolling the car window down and sticking my hands out it, is just as much fun as 31 as it was at 7 years old. This also goes for juice boxes and fruit snacks.
-I have learned that a smile makes the day better but sometimes we will be grumpy and that maybe it's best not to "fake happy."
-I have learned that words are not always necessary.
-I have learned that sometimes life sucks and that we can't fix it, but throwing a fit on our bed and crying does make us feel better…. even if for a little bit.
-I have learned that we are incredibly blessed to have you here. Many families, of children with medical issues like yours, don't see their 15th birthday. There is no doubt we have great doctors to thank for your care and very good health.
-I have learned that the staff who care for you, must sleep very well, are undoubtedly underpaid for what they do for you and I have the utmost respect for them in how hard they work. I wish I could buy them huge gifts every time I see them!
Happy Birthday Caleb!
You are loved beyond words!
